Cloud Nine- Chapter 21 Part 3: Deathly Addictions
Chapter 21 Part 3
“I don’t want to…you do it.”
“Bro stop fucking around..just look at it.”
Liam was standing up against the bathroom wall with his hands stuffed in his pockets and I was on top of the cold toilet seat with my knees to my chest and the test in my hand. It had been a good two weeks since the car ride from the airport when I put two and two together that I might be pregnant.
This whole time I refused to take a test because I was scared shitless of the results but finally Liam convinced me to do it and for the past thirty minutes we’ve been fighting over who should look at it first.
I would have done it earlier if I knew it was a hundred percent Liam’s but because I’m not sure, what am I supposed to do if he gets all excited and shit? I cant just crush his spirits like that.
My eyes drifted from Liam’s tired expression to the test down in my hand.
Slowly I turned it around and held my breath.
A small pink plus sign was on the stick and before I could formulate any words Liam had snatched it from my hands.
I sighed then got up from the toilet and stormed out of the bathroom then ran across the hall to my bedroom.
“Where you going?” Liam called after me.
I just stomped down the hall and slammed the door behind me before falling to the floor.
Everything is going so wrong. Nineteen and pregnant… not exactly how I imagined my life.
To be honest I would of liked to be married before having my first kid so I just don’t know what I’m going to do with this one.
I rubbed my slightly poked out tummy and bit my lip so I wouldn’t cry.
Liam was banging on my door and yelling for me to let him in but I just sat there and thought about the possibilities for this future child.
It is going to go through so much, not having a mother being the main one. Even though I had a mother it was like she didn’t even exist because of the shit she put me through and I don’t my child to feel how I felt.
Before I never really understood or cared for abortions but right now that was looking like an option.
“Let me in!” Liam yelled one more time.
Fed up, I stood to my feet and opened the door before yanking him inside and shutting it behind him.
I was going through enough stress as it is I don’t need anymore on top of that so I guess I better spill the beans about him not being the father.
At least the possibility of Chris being the father wasn’t from me cheating but rather just me being stupid and reckless.
“Liam you may not be the dad.” I blurted before he said anything else. No need to talk a lot of bullshit, I just needed to cut to the chase and tell him.
“Plus, I was thinking about having an abortion. I mean we’re both so young and with my condition…having a child right now just doesn’t seem like a good idea!”
“Serenity the fuck are you saying right now? Do you hear yourself? You sound stupid as hell and fuck you mean I may not be the dad?”
Liam’s once calm voice was now raised and strained.
I groaned then averted my eyes away from his and looked down at my feet.
“Chris may be the dad, and before you get mad and look like a dumb ass it’s not because I cheated..”
Liam just crossed his arms over his chest and leaned up against the door keeping his eyes hard on me. His thin pink lips were creased in a straight line and hurt was slowly intertwining with the pissed expression that was still on his face.
“Remember when you gave me that promise ring that night…well a couple of days before we hooked up, Chris and I had sex and well he didn’t wear a condom..and you know I’m not on birth control so… I don’t know whose it is.. I’m sorry Liam.”
My eyes stayed locked on my feet the entire time I spoke because I didn’t want to see the look of disappointment I know he was wearing right now.
Even though I wasn’t looking at Liam, I cringed a little when I heard him inhale to speak because I’m sure he was about to yell at me.
But then again he has no fucking right to say shit because he fucked me without protection too so anything he is about to say is irrelevant.
I kept looking down and braced myself for whatever he was about to say but he never said anything.
Instead he stepped close to me and wrapped his strong arms around me. My head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck and that is when I started to cry.
Why is he being such a good boyfriend? Fuck, I was hoping he did some stupid shit so I could be mad at him and have a even more reason to get rid of this thing that was growing inside of me but all he did was make me want to have the baby and live happily ever after with him.
Fuck, I wish he wasn’t such a good man to me sometimes…he doesn’t deserve me. Real shit. I’m always rude and bossy towards him but he just takes it and loves me for the psycho bitch that I am.
He kissed the top of my head and massaged my back with his hand.
“I don’t care whose baby it is because no matter what I’ll be here for you..through everything and don’t you ever think about taking that precious baby away from me. Even if you don’t want it, I do and just the thought of it possibly being mine is enough for me to love it with all of my heart. Promise you’ll keep it..” His lips brushed against my ear with every word he spoke and it sent chills down my spine.
“Okay.” I lied.
I’m not ready to be a mother and as a woman it’s my choice to decide when and how I will become one. Even though time isn’t on my side, I rather put this off for another time and place.
A baby right now is just not what I want or need but to please Liam I consoled him with little comments of assurance that the baby was here to stay and for right now it was.
Liam’s other hand that was once stationed on my waist glided softly to my stomach and he pressed against it while smiling down at me.
“Stop doing that.” I demanded as I swatted away another tear.
“Doing what?” he asked with a smile still on his face. His hand was moving in small circles now which made my tears fall even faster.
I was so over whelmed with emotions that I was speechless.
“Ooh, I wonder if it has a heartbeat yet!!” Liam said excitedly while dropping down to his knees and lifting my shirt up.
See this is the shit I was talking about. He was already too attached to it and it was making me feel some type of way that I can’t explain.
Liam continued to lift my shirt up until all of my stomach was exposed and then placed his cool ear against my tummy and let the shirt fall on his head. His hands pushed against the smalls of my back as he tried harder to listen for a beat which I’m sure wasn’t there yet.
“I love you Serenity and I can’t wait to be a family.”
He kissed my stomach a few times before snuggling his head into me. I just stood there still speechless and eventually petted the back of his head.
“I love you too.” I spoke finally.
His mouth curled into a small smile against me and he kissed my thigh quickly while still holding onto the lower half of my body.
He was such a love sap I swear.
Fuck am I gonna do? I just hope Chris takes this just as good as Liam did but knowing him, he probably won’t.
When Eva and I left VA, I was definitely not the same nigga that went in.
“Here.” She spoke softly.
Her small hands guided the substance over to me and I chopped it up with a razor blade before sliding it all onto a creased dollar bill.
Some of the coke had slipped off the dollar and scatter onto the floor. Eva glared at me, her eyes red in anger and I just shot her the middle finger before placing the dollar bill back onto the table.
She huffed and rolled her eyes before snatching out her cell phone and typing a quick message which I’m sure was to our dealer.
Ever since I snorted my first line at that party on Thanksgiving, my life had changed completely even though it’s only been a few weeks. Despite what Eva told me the desire to get high never went away. A week being sober turned into a few days turned into a few hours then turned into a few minutes.
My nose itched for the burning sensation I got every time I snorted and the feeling it gave me was amazing.
At least she didn’t lie about that.
Together, we’ve been getting high and just doing what the fuck we wanted to do. Occasionally we’d fuck but our relationship doesn’t really have any sustenance to it. I still fuck other girls and sometimes right in front of her.
Disrespectful? Maybe but I told her before we started this “relationship” if that’s what you wanna call it, that there are no strings attached and I meant that shit.
Now and days we’ve been intimate more frequently only because when I’m in paradise, as I call it, I’m not in control of what I do or how I act. I just let the drug possess me and take every inch of my being before I have to check back into reality.
Oddly, Eva confessed to me a few days ago that she’d been doing coke for the past couple of months. She claims it helps her get through the nights she has to dance and all that other shit.
I just don’t know how I never noticed it until now.
She was really good at hiding it but as for me…not so much.
My youthful appearance was slowly changing and I hate to admit it but I looked like shit. I let all of my hair grow out and didn’t really care to much to shave. The skin around my nose was always pink because of my constant scratching and rubbing of it. Occasionally, I’d have random nose bleeds and all of this other bullshit so I just decided to stay out the public eye and stay in my dorm chillin.
The classes I were taking right now were easy as fuck and I had an option of doing the work online so everything worked out.
I could stay home, get high, fuck Eva and eat anything I wanted…could it get any better than that?
Right now I rubbed my nose slightly and rested my head on the couch cushion as my body buzzed in response to the drug.
“You feel it yet?” Eva asked.
I looked over at her and she was making that same orgasmic facial expression she made every time we’d do this.
I licked my lips then pulled her over into my lap and planted small kisses around her neck.
She started to rotate her hips on top of me and I groaned a little at the way she was making me feel.
“Wait hold on..” she said breaking our embrace.
I sucked my teeth then pulled her back into me and tried finishing what I started.
“Chris stop, look!”
She shoved her beat up iPhone into my face and on the screen read Xylo with a accept or decline button beneath his name.
My body tensed a little beneath her and she gave me “that’s what I thought” look before placing the phone to her ear.
Xylo [zy-lo] was our dealer and boss. When we got back to Cali, we wasted no time getting our hands on our most prized possession but everything comes with a cost. Xylo didn’t look like a dealer, he was well kept, had a regular physique and a smooth voice. He just looked like an average nigga. Until you pissed him off.
I personally have never experienced him when he goes ape shit but from what Eva told me, it’d be best to keep it that way.
“Hello?” Eva said into the phone as she climbed from off of me.
“Yes everything’s going fine…we made a lot of money this week.” She said in a polite voice.
I could tell she was struggling to keep her composure and not reveal the state of mind she was in now but the way her eyes wandered around the room and her hand did that little twitch thing that it does, it was easy to tell that she was out of it.
“Okay, tonight is fine…See you there. Bye.”
She took the phone down from her ear then stuffed it back into her pockets before looking over at me.
“We are in some deep shit.”
I raised an eyebrow at her then stood up off the floor.
She smacked her lips then started pacing back and forth.
“I just lied to him! You know we aint made shit, yet all the merch is gone..FUCK!” she said her hands trembling.
Every now and then Eva and I dipped into what we were supposed to be selling and we ended up snorting all of the goods.
“Calm the fuck down, we can get the money easy. How much we owe him?” I said cooly.
I groaned loudly then started to pace along side her.
How are we going to make two grand in five hours? My hands stroked my chin as I thought when quickly a light went off in my head.
Deviously, I stared up at Eva and it didn’t take long for her to notice me.
“Fuck you staring at me for?” she said sassily.
“I got an idea.” I said darkly.
She poked her hips out and put her hands up waiting for me to say whatever it was I was about to say.
She is going to hate what I’m about to say but fuck, desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Dance at Fallen Angels tonight.. You might want to do a few private sessions also.” I said while thrusting my hips twice on the last part.
Her face stayed expressionless as she took in what I just said.
“What do you take me for? I aint a hoe…” she shouted.
“Fuck you trynna prove? I know you aint a “hoe” so why does it matter. Just take like four or five clients and we can bounce.”
“Hell to the naw. I don’t do that shit. Dancing is one thing, but fucking for money is a whole different story. I-I have morals you know..”
I chuckled lightly when she said that and snorted a few times.
Morals? Yeah right.
“Asshole.” She spat before turning away from me.
I laughed a little more before placing my hand on her shoulder and turned her around.
“What else can we do? You know Xylo and I aint trynna get my ass kicked you feel me? Just do a few lines and forget about it.”
“That’s exactly what got us in this mess! You know whaatttt….” She breathed deeply and closed her eyes. “I’ll do it but this is the ONLY time, after this no more dipping into the stash cause I aint got time for Xylo’s craziness.”
I kissed my teeth because I knew this wasn’t going to be the last time she did this. We both loved the drug too much to really give any fucks about how we got it.
My heart danced in excitement just thinking about later on tonight when we got our hands on some more merch but for now I was going to have to stay sober for the next five or so hours.
Fuck, that was going to be hard to do but I’ll try my best.
Again, I snaked my arms around Eva’s waist and pulled her into me before looking down and kissing her.
Easily, she jumped up into my arms and wrapped her legs around me while slithering her tongue deep into my mouth.
I carried her over to the couch and wasted no time taking her clothes off.
“You love me?” she asked in between kisses.
it took all I had in me to not laugh at her.
“Y-yea…” I said quickly before sliding myself into her.
I cut her off by slamming deep inside of her and kissing her sloppily on the lips. She really needed to learn to stop talking so damn much and just enjoy this shit. I knew the whole no strings attached thing wasnt going to work out but fuck it my high was wearing off and I might as well make the most of it.
For the record, despite what you all read in this chapter I am pro-life.